I've listen down the top 10 reasons why I think guys actually prefer television to girls for companionship. Not that I understand boys mind you, but I tried putting myself in their shoes, and this is what I (plus my overactive imagination) came up with.
Disclaimer: If it feels that I'm betraying womankind with this article, I swear I am not. Nor am I a girl-hating, techno-obsessive person either. I'm just trying to have fun with my pen. Honest.
1. Televisions are way much cheaper. The total costs include the initial investment when you actually purchase it, its contribution to the overall electricity bill and the occasional repair every 2 to 3 years. You don't have to shell out money on weekly dates. You don't have buy gifts and remember every monthsary or anniversary to commemorate the date of purchase.
2. Televisions offer variety. You don't have to listen to the same story of how her mom beat up her dad for the nth number of time over and over again. You're in the mood for blood and gore, go pick a war movie that's showing on HBO. If you're in the mood to laugh your head off, switch on the comedy channel. Whatever you want is just a click away.
3. You can turn the television on mute if you want peace and quiet. Heck, you can even completely turn it off if you want to.
4. Televisions are available 24 x 7. They don't get tired. They don't need rest. They don't need to be coaxed out of giving a repeat performance.
5. You can always trade in your television once they are obsolete. Upgrade one, upgrade all. You don't have to rely on the half-new, half-old model that you bought some five years back.
6. Televisions are just there all day long. You don't have to think of new places to take them to. You don't have to worry that they'll be bored with doing the same routine every week. You don't have to change your bedroom techniques just to make sure your partner is not bored. They're just... there all the time.
7. Televisions come in all sizes and packages. Big or small. Japanese or German. Flat or not. Colored or black and white. Just provide the specs and voila!
8. Televisions don't need perfect manners or grooming. You don't have to shave and dress up in your best Sunday clothes to watch your favorite TV. You don't even have to pretend that you like the hors devour that you ordered in that ridiculously expensive restaurant that your girlfriend wanted to go to. You can even curse every other person on earth while you're watching and they wouldn't cringe. You can just slob around all day in your pj's, eat chips and drink beer while watching ESPN all day long.
9. Televisions won't force you to meet their manufacturer parents or their production batch mates. You don't need to engage in any awkward "Is this guy good enough for my daughter?" moments. You don't need to answer questions of how much you earn and when you plan to marry their daughter. Televisions are the perfect loner partners.
10. Televisions are not naturally insecure. You do not need to reassure them that their clothes are not too tight nor their zits are too obvious. You don't even have to be extra caring and understanding when girls are PMS-ing. In fact, you don't even have to have any reaction at all in front of the tube. That's how secure TVs are.
But then again, televisions don't offer the same zest and warmth that you get out of finding your soul mate, your one true love either. They cannot comfort you when you just received news that your dad is critically ill or when your child just said that he hates you and never wants to talk to you again for the rest of his life. They also do not warm your bed nor do they offer hugs and kisses just because they are happy to see you.
So, guys, which would you choose? Televisions or girls? :)
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