Up, Up and Away

It was one of those lazy Sunday mornings. Ralph and I woke up together at around 8am.

We stretched. We yawned. We smiled sleepily and greeted each other good morning. I was too lazy to even think about what breakfast I needed to prepare for both of us.

Suddenly, I heard a very chirpy voice beside me exclaim, "Look, Mommy, it's pointing up."

Wide awake as well, I glanced down at what he was pointing at. And indeed, it is very much up, as up as any 7-year old thingies could be. Trying to be mature, I just nodded and wisely said nothing.

*pause*

Ralph followed it up with "Why is it up every morning, Mommy?"

Although generally I encourage Ralph to ask follow up questions for stuff that he doesn't understand, this is one of those moments wherein I regretting building that trait in him - just for a second at least.

I was struck speechless. My mind was filled with terror. Disaster, my brain screamed!

This is one of those few times I wished I weren't single and that I can just tell Ralph, "Go ask your dad." But alas, that's not how life is. (One of those other times was when I was teaching Ralph how to pee properly. Let me reassure you, it is now as instinctive as you would think it would be.)

I prayed for divine intervention. Maybe suddenly a tornado or hurricane would arrive for the first time in my hometown and swallow us alive. Maybe not.

I considered playing the old "distract-the-baby" game. I tried to think of what his favorite things are and how I can get his mind off this topic. All I came up with is blank.

I deliberated whether the old birds and bees stories include this part as well. *scratch that idea*

I thought of confusing him with too much scientific information, starting with "The male genitalia expands when the blood rushes into the..." and decided I couldn't pull it off.

All these thoughts happened within five seconds. (See how fast the mind works?)

I glanced over at Ralph, who was still waiting expectantly for my answer. I finally said, "I think it just means you need to pee first thing in the morning."

Ralph said, "OK," then went off to play.

Whew. Saved for at least a few more years.