Follow Your Dreams

"Follow your dreams and you will find happiness."

... Yeah, right.

MY dream is to look like Meg Ryan. Or at least, have the same hairstyle as she does since I think she just looks so darn cute and likable. Aaaaargh. Wrong dream.

I happen to pass by a parlor inside the mall last night. Suddenly the urge to do something different to my hair hit me hard. Being the weak creature that all humans are, I just let myself be led by this rather strong little voice. I marched up to the receptionist, barely glanced at the price of a haircut and just asked the senior hairstylist to "just do it."

Let's just say that impulse + stubborn streak = disaster.

As you might have guessed, changes to my hairstyle is a very good indicator of the current stress level in my life. Some play with stress balls, some just hide in a call room or some just have a nervous breakdown... Me? I choose to attack my hair. When I was younger, I would cut my hair myself. Now I've matured and delegated that task to experts.

Somehow, regardless of how disastrous the results may be, I always end up oddly feeling slightly better. I guess it symbolizes letting go of past burdens and moving on with renewed energy and lightheartedness.

Similarly, even though I think I'm nowhere even close to looking like Meg Ryan, that impulse hair cut did cheer me up. And I'm sure it'll grow on me. If I don't come to like it, who else will? :)

He's Just Not That Into You

These six little words may seem harsh. You may want to smack the head of the person who dared to speak those words aloud. "What? How dare you even suggest that? Of course, he likes me. He's just well... busy/complicated/hurting/etc." You may feel outrage especially if you happen to hear it for the first time, but you should thank your lucky stars that somebody smart and honest enough actually invested time and effort in writing this book.

I personally read the book about a few months back. The first thought that came to mind was - "Wow, why couldn't this book have come out earlier - like maybe 10 years ago?" This could have saved me a lot of anxiety and worrying over nothing.

Do these phrases seem familiar?
"Maybe he doesn't know how to get my contact number."
"He's just going through a tough phase right now."
"I think he's intimdated by me."
"He just can't commit right now. But I know that if he can, I'll be his first choice."

Did you ever wonder why a guy suddenly disappears and doesn't call for no apparent reason after pursuing you relentlessly for two weeks? Have you heard the phrase "Sorry I haven't called you, I've been swamped with work"? Do you have a pattern of giving excuses for the sorry behavior of your somewhat-boyfriend-somewhat-friend? Does your relationship make you insecure rather than feeling good about yourself? Do you wonder, "Where is this relationship going?" or "Is he ever gonna ask me to marry him?"

If you are nodding your head in agreement, then please just STOP. Take a long hard look at what you are doing to yourself. Don't bother obssessing and rehashing every single detail with your girlfriends and analyzing the what-if's and what-nots.

I remember back in high school, I was bemoaning the fact that my being smart was scaring away all potential suitors. My (equally if not smarter) brother replied: "I know what you mean but that's not true. Only dumb guys don't like smart women. And besides, if they can't handle your smarts, why bother with them?" At that time, I just nodded outwardly but just kept shaking my head inwardly and kept wishing for Somebody-Up-There will decrease my IQ or something. But now, it's all starting to make sense.

Guys are relatively simple. They are either into you, or they're not. Although guys can't tell you that "you're not the one" directly (they're cowards in that way), they don't send mixed signals. We just choose to ignore them, give them the benefit of the doubt and hang on to the little thread of hope to keep the relationship going.

Let's face it. Most girls are NICE. When I say nice, I mean like the sweet and forgiving kind. Despite how assertive we may be in the workplace, we just turn to mush when we are around guys that we like. Maybe it's our maternal instinct. I dunno, I guess it's just part of who we are. We can't exactly change our nature, but we can accept this and just be smarter about how we deal with relationships.

This book is telling us that we are fantastic girls. We're gorgeous. We're smart. We're funny. This is also why we shouldn't settle for anything less than what we deserve - which is tender loving care from equally fantastic men (or women, if that's what you prefer). If they can't appreciate us for what we are, why should we fool ourselves into believing that they will change once they get a higher paying job or finally stabilize the business venture? Why should we waste our time in unsatisfying relationships if the guy who's really into you is out there, possibly waiting for you as well?

So the next time you feel the need to analyze his actions, maybe you need to start considering that maybe... he's just not that into you. Set yourself free. Move on and find the one who does. You won't be sorry.

Oh, and read the book for more details. Trust me - this book will become a girl's new best friend or the equivalent of a Holy Bible or Quran for us. :P

Something Is In The Air

Love a.k.a. "the marriage bug" must be in the air. That's the only reason I can think of. Or maybe I, along with my friends who are about the same age bracket as me, must have just reached the marriageable age - the average age that all girls MUST marry. Else, how can I explain the number of marriage proposals that have been planned and executed successfully over the last few months?

As of now, four of my closest friends from my high school barkada and two of my girl-friends/colleagues are engaged and to be married as well. Considering that these are terrific girls and that they manage to find equally terrific guys who love and respect them as well, I can't do anything else except be happy for them... Come to think of it, I can also threaten to clobber the guys if they did anything that would harm my friends. But I'll sheathe my claws for now and reserve them when the time is right :)

It's rare that Cupid can find its way to your heart, and even rarer for you to take it up to the next level. So to Swats & Jeff, Che & Ben, Cher & Eddie, Cha & Noel, Ces & Joel, Rose & Mark --> Best wishes and congratulations on your new beginning!

Now if I can only figure out what gift to give them and how to magically come up with 6 knockout dresses for those weddings without putting a dent on my wallet... :P

Song of the Month - May 2006

HOW DO YOU KEEP THE MUSIC PLAYING?
by James Ingram and Patti Austin

How do you keep the music playing?
How do you make it last?
How do you keep the song from fading too fast?

How do you lose yourself to someone?
And never lose your ways
How do you not run out of new things to say?

And since we're always changing
How can it be the same?
And tell me how, year after year
You're sure your heart will fall apart
Each time you hear his name

I know the way I feel for you,
it's now or never
The more I love,
the more that I'm afraid
That in your eyes
I many not see forever, forever

If we can be the best of lovers
Yet be the best of friends
If we can try with everyday
to make it better as it grows
With any luck, then I suppose,
the music never ends

Blind Leading the Blind?

I may know how to configure and troubleshoot a complicated financial-controlling module application from scratch, but the concept of “blind date” is quite foreign to me. I have never been setup by friends and/or busybody relatives, nor have I quite gotten the courage to actually progress past a polite suggestion to friends that “you know, I think you two would get along really well together.”

I wanted to gather facts about blind dating as a process, so I tried to ask several people about this alien concept. The answers I got ranged from “You do NOT want to try it” to extremely evil looks accompanied by shudders and deep breaths. Only about one or two seemed to find it pleasant. Nobody tried very hard to convince me that it was something that I should add it to my list of things to do before I die.

I have so many questions that are left unanswered. For your information, shrugging your shoulders and/or saying “Do what feels comfortable” are NOT real answers. :) Although practically everyone I know seemed to have tried it at least once in their youth, nobody can answer my questions properly. Why is that? I would think that some intelligent and practical human being out there will take the initiative to compile all of the lessons he/she had gathered over the past experiences of blind dating and help the rest of humankind. Or is that too much to ask of any frustrated and angry I-swear-no-more-blind-dates person?

The term itself is quite negative at first glance. But I wonder: Are blind dates really doomed for failure (as most people have lamented over and over again)? Or does it have a chance to succeed? And if it does, then how do you increase the probability of success?

Would it be less awkward if you did the first blind date over lunch or coffee instead of dinner? Would having the matchmaker join the first half hour break the ice better, or should it be just the two of you? If the guy calls you the next day and asks you out again on a “real” date, would you consider the blind date to be successful? On the other hand, if you realize after ordering the salad that you absolutely cannot stand the guy, can you just sneak out and hope the guy takes the hint? What is the universal code for showing your interest OR your disinterest? To make things more black and white, I would actually recommend having a universal talk sheet that people can refer to at the end of the blind date, so that there will no mixed signals or second guesses. If that removes romance from the equation, then so be it.

One other common pet peeve that people have against blind dates, especially those that are setup by relatives is the fact that these people tend to overcommunicate rather than let things run smoothly on its own course. This means that, even before you arrive at the restaurant, Aunt Linda has told half of your clan about your date with Uncle George’s officemate’s nephew and probably gotten their support to pry some answers out of you the minute you return from your date. How do you get these people, however well-meaning their intentions may be, to just butt off… in a polite way of course?

I also wonder from the perspective of the matchmakers. How do they assess that Friend A might like Friend B? How in the world is friendship still maintained after so many errors versus jackpots? Should we consider them brave souls to even continue trying or do they have just too many friends that they can take the risk? Does the “victim” have the license to strangle the matchmaker/ex-friend or is there a waiver that the blind datee has to sign to ensure that there will be no bloodshed afterwards? If in case it does work out, does it mean you have to be eternally grateful to the person who made the initial introduction and be forced to invite him/her to every bloody party that you host?

It seems like blind dates are more work than what it’s worth. You might as well just throw in your towel and say, “forget it.”

But then again, once in a while, you hear about those stories wherein two people meet for the first time and realize that they have a great deal in common. They find out that they both studied in the same school; they actually liked ampalaya and jazz, and as they say it, the rest is history. It is still because of these success stories that people religiously cling to the hope that they might find something worthwhile and precious amidst worse-to-worst blind dates. And THAT, apparently makes it all worth while.

P.S. The author reserves the right to change her mind once she actually tried going out on a blind date.

Home Sweet Home

No, this is not gonna be a happy blog.
I just came home from the most horrific business trip ever.
When I say horrific, I do mean horrific.

It's a lot worse than the time I arrived in Kobe on my second week of work, right out of college, on my first trip alone ever, only to find out that the administrative assistant "forgot" to confirm my hotel booking. The hotel happened to be fully booked and it took some creative persuasion to manage this slight problem. Or when I literally dragged a mountainful of clothes (to be exact, two weeks worth) to Singapore, because I didn't know that one can charge laundry expenses to the company if the trip is more than a week. Or when I found myself getting propositioned by not one, but two Middle Eastern guys while I was buying books in Dubai - with the subtlety of a sledgehammer, I might add. Or when the cab driver in Mumbai got me lost around the city because he chose not to tell me that he didn't understand English and just nodded when I told him the address of the office to go to. Or when I ran out of deodorant in Guangzhou and I found out surprisingly that not one store sells any form of deodorant. I had to swallow my embarrassment and ask a male colleague to please bring one the week after. Funny as it may sound, these things do happen. Or maybe only to me? :)

The examples above are just unpleasant bumps along the road. This trip however, has been displaying warning signs of impending doom to come right from the start. I just chose to ignore that little voice and continued to be optimistic about it, until it finally got me to admit defeat.

I realized that I got my departure time wrongly, only when I arrived in the airport. Instead of just waiting comfortably in the lounge for an hour tops, I actually spent more than 4 hours waiting in the lounge, since I thought that I was still going by my original schedule, which was 2 hours earlier.

The trip from Manila to Cincinnati in itself was quite uneventful, thank godness. But for some reason, I wasn't able to overcome my jet lag. On my last day of business trip, I still woke up at 2am local time and couldn't get back to bed afterwards. I wonder if it's old age.

On top of this, I literally was fighting off physical ailments that are tolerable individually but if you add them all up, the combination is pretty lethal. I had nosebleeds every night. I had runny nose and colds. I also had sore throat and an upset stomach the whole week.

The nature of the trip itself is alarming. We were the only group among our larger organization that needed this workshop. We were in the spotlight (not in the good way) for the past few months. This emergency workshop was a much needed intervention to get us back on track. I also discovered that the reputation of Asia as a region in that particular project was not good. In fact, they weren't shy about vocalizing their complaints. Since I represented Asia, even if I wasn't working directly on the project, I had to swallow my pride, apologized on my team's behalf and just move on and improve the situation.

By the last day, I was literally singing praises to the heavens above because I was finally going home. I should've kept my mouth shut. I think Somebody-Up-There does not like my voice or something. Let's just say there's a reason why Murphy's Law is a law and not just an educated guess.

The flight from Cincinnati to LA got cancelled and I had to take another route, via a stopover in Atlanta. IF (and that's a big if) the alternative flights all went off on time, I might have had an 75% chance of making it to the connecting flight. But as it turns out, the Delta flight from Atlanta to LA couldn't take off because there was a sudden storm.

The plane landed in LA at around 10pm. The connecting flight from LA to Manila is at 1010pm. You do the math. Obviously I missed the flight. The sad thing is, the next flight is on the next day, same time.

At this point in time, all I wanted was to eat a hot meal and just crawl back into a nice bed and forget about the misfortunes that have happened for the past few days. I finally got our rebooking confirmed and Delta gave me a temporary hotel for the night. I was freezing my butt off, since I didn't exactly expect to be out in the cold, so I dressed more for fashion than comfort. Note to self: Sandals, however feminine or comfortable they may seem to be, are not meant for long walks. I learned this lesson the hard way.

When I checked in the next day, the agent said that my booking was not confirmed at all. And the flight was apparently full and even overbooked in some classes. I know they're just doing their job and they didn't deserve a tongue-lashing like the one I gave, but c'mon, can anyone blame me? It's as if I reached the boiling point and the poor agent had to listen sympathetically while I ranted on and on about the stupidity and incompetence of travelling as a whole.

Fortunately I was able to make it back home I got the last available seat in business class. I shuddered to think what body aches I would've endured if I were to fly home coach. Yes, I know, I'm spoiled.:)

Upon arriving in Manila, I literally waited for an hour and a half for my one piece of luggage to come out - only to find out that it was in the list of bags that didn't make it. The amusing/exasperating part here is that my bags were checked in at the same time and under the same name as my colleague. Her two bags arrived on time while mine didn't. Go figure.

The saddest part about this whole trip is that I missed Mother's Day. I also missed out the rare pleasures of a long and lazy 3-day weekend. Sniff.

But still, I'm back at home. Yes, home sweet home. I'm still fighting the reverse jet lag and the remnants of my colds/sore throat/runny nose but I'm letting Zithromax do its job. I'm hopeful that this trauma is just temporary and I'll be back to my normal cheerful self who will take on any trip (whether personal or business) to anywhere need be.

Dance with Me

According to Wikipedia, the term "ballroom dancing" is derived from the word ball, which in turn, originates from the Latin word ballare which means "to dance". It used to refer to social dancing for the privileged, while folk dancing are for the lower classes, but obviously the lines have blurred since then.

I kinda wonder why ballroom dancing isn't as popular as it was decades ago? I find that there's nothing more exciting or romantic than letting the guy take the lead and twirl you around and around till you drop... Well, obviously there is, but it's not something I can blog about freely without getting scandalous comments. Hehe. :P

Seriously, are there still any places left here in the city that actually play ballroom dance music, aside from those that regularly hold ballroom dancing competition? Why did the fad die? When did it become so baduy*? Do guys think it's gay-ish if they actually admit to the fact that they can dance or that they actually like the salsa? Or maybe guys today just can't move their bodies like the way the hot guys from the early 1900s can? You know what they say about guys who can shake their booties... :P

If you ask me, the main reason why ballroom dancing remains so mysterious and sexy is precisely because the leader (i.e. the guy of your dreams) has to be strong and manly enough to assert certain contact and direction to be able to let his partner know the next move and make her follow his lead. And as such, the follower (i.e. the dreamy-eyed girl) has to respond to his actions. I know it's kinda back-in-the-caves way of thinking, but you just gotta admire someone who is forceful, yet at the same time, graceful. Compare it to disco dancing (or is it just disco?), where everybody can just move around freely.Touching is optional. Apparently, there's no leader-and-follower concept in modern dancing. It's just moving your arms and hips from one side to another aimlessly. I have to admit that disco has its uses (especially in burning calories), but feel free give me ballroom dancing anytime.

*Baduy is a Filipino word that means that it is already out of fashion and you shouldn't be caught dead with it or doing it.