Blind Leading the Blind?

I may know how to configure and troubleshoot a complicated financial-controlling module application from scratch, but the concept of “blind date” is quite foreign to me. I have never been setup by friends and/or busybody relatives, nor have I quite gotten the courage to actually progress past a polite suggestion to friends that “you know, I think you two would get along really well together.”

I wanted to gather facts about blind dating as a process, so I tried to ask several people about this alien concept. The answers I got ranged from “You do NOT want to try it” to extremely evil looks accompanied by shudders and deep breaths. Only about one or two seemed to find it pleasant. Nobody tried very hard to convince me that it was something that I should add it to my list of things to do before I die.

I have so many questions that are left unanswered. For your information, shrugging your shoulders and/or saying “Do what feels comfortable” are NOT real answers. :) Although practically everyone I know seemed to have tried it at least once in their youth, nobody can answer my questions properly. Why is that? I would think that some intelligent and practical human being out there will take the initiative to compile all of the lessons he/she had gathered over the past experiences of blind dating and help the rest of humankind. Or is that too much to ask of any frustrated and angry I-swear-no-more-blind-dates person?

The term itself is quite negative at first glance. But I wonder: Are blind dates really doomed for failure (as most people have lamented over and over again)? Or does it have a chance to succeed? And if it does, then how do you increase the probability of success?

Would it be less awkward if you did the first blind date over lunch or coffee instead of dinner? Would having the matchmaker join the first half hour break the ice better, or should it be just the two of you? If the guy calls you the next day and asks you out again on a “real” date, would you consider the blind date to be successful? On the other hand, if you realize after ordering the salad that you absolutely cannot stand the guy, can you just sneak out and hope the guy takes the hint? What is the universal code for showing your interest OR your disinterest? To make things more black and white, I would actually recommend having a universal talk sheet that people can refer to at the end of the blind date, so that there will no mixed signals or second guesses. If that removes romance from the equation, then so be it.

One other common pet peeve that people have against blind dates, especially those that are setup by relatives is the fact that these people tend to overcommunicate rather than let things run smoothly on its own course. This means that, even before you arrive at the restaurant, Aunt Linda has told half of your clan about your date with Uncle George’s officemate’s nephew and probably gotten their support to pry some answers out of you the minute you return from your date. How do you get these people, however well-meaning their intentions may be, to just butt off… in a polite way of course?

I also wonder from the perspective of the matchmakers. How do they assess that Friend A might like Friend B? How in the world is friendship still maintained after so many errors versus jackpots? Should we consider them brave souls to even continue trying or do they have just too many friends that they can take the risk? Does the “victim” have the license to strangle the matchmaker/ex-friend or is there a waiver that the blind datee has to sign to ensure that there will be no bloodshed afterwards? If in case it does work out, does it mean you have to be eternally grateful to the person who made the initial introduction and be forced to invite him/her to every bloody party that you host?

It seems like blind dates are more work than what it’s worth. You might as well just throw in your towel and say, “forget it.”

But then again, once in a while, you hear about those stories wherein two people meet for the first time and realize that they have a great deal in common. They find out that they both studied in the same school; they actually liked ampalaya and jazz, and as they say it, the rest is history. It is still because of these success stories that people religiously cling to the hope that they might find something worthwhile and precious amidst worse-to-worst blind dates. And THAT, apparently makes it all worth while.

P.S. The author reserves the right to change her mind once she actually tried going out on a blind date.