Silence in the communication within the corporate world is easy to decipher. It means you concur and have stamped your 'ok' in the recommendation after you reviewed it thoroughly.
But what about other situations outside of work?
I fear that it is not that easy to interpret. And making wrong assumptions could end up costing a great friendship or something more.
after a great date. You just had the most perfect date the night before. Both the weather and your hair cooperated. which is a miracle in itself. Everything was just perfect. In fact, you're 100% sure that your date feels the same way. Morning comes, no call. Fine, that must mean he's a late sleeper. Lunch, still nada. By the time you're about to eat dinner, your stomach is churning and you feel embarrassed that you must've read too much last night. What the heck does silence mean in this case?
during intimate moments. People have difficulty in confessing or sharing something personal because they cannot predict accurately what the reaction would be. And sometimes, because of the uncertainty of acceptance, you would just kept those thoughts to yourself rather than risking the possibility of rejection and judgement.
I love you.
*silence then just runs away.
I'm pregnant.
*silence then faints
I had an abortion five years ago.
*silence then looks at her like she's the devil incarnate
In these cases, just the mere thought of these reactions would make you just keep your mouth shut rather than risk the humiliation afterwards.
after a fight/disagreement/discussion (whatever you want to call it). I received a great advise from a priest before I got married. Do not go to bed when you're still angry with each other. I believe that this is applicable even in friendship. One might even wonder whether or not the partner cares anymore, if he or she doesn't even bother talking to her after a fight. Sometimes prolonging the forgiveness and making up in the name of giving each other space and time to cool off might actually lead to eternal separation, thereby doing more harm than good.
during conversations. Silence during conversation can both be positive and negative. It really depends on the mood. There is what we call comfortable silence, which is when both parties just enjoy the peaks and lulls of the tête-à-tête. They do not panic whenever there's dead air. However, sometimes silence is just too defeaning and you end up concluding that you don't have the same wavelength. From what I hear, most blind dates has more of the latter.
Silence in the right scenario could prove to be a powerful tool. Your mom doesn't have to say anything but you know that you're in trouble with just a look. Your boss just raises his eyebrows and you know that he is displeased with something.
But let's face it. However useful it is, silence is still prone to wrong interpretation which might lead to inaccurate conclusions. Doesn't it make more sense to just verbalize your feelings straight out? Am I the only one who believes in being that being brutally frank (within the right context, of course) is still the best way to build trust and openness in a relationship? Should people still play that cat-and-mouse game regardless of how old they are?
I don't doubt whoever coined the famous phrase "silence speaks a thousand words". It really does. Now only if he could specify as well what those "thousand words" actually refer to. I believe our lives would be much, much simpler and happier.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Beating the Birthday Blues
It's exactly 10 days before my 29th birthday and I'm not looking forward to it. It's not because I'm turning 29, mind you. Contray to my recent post ("Getting Old"), age doesn't really bother me that much, since I know I basically still look the same (Can you believe I still get asked at the airport to indicate who my guardian is? Apparently, I still look like a minor to Westerners. :P)
Based from experience, I always get slightly depressed and a lot apprehensive as my birthday approaches. Being the control freak that I am, it really drives me crazy not knowing what I'll do yet on that day. Being the shy dudette that I am (seriously), I also don't want to impose and demand that my friends give up their day and spend it with me. That leaves me with no option except to plan out the day for myself. And that is why the situation is a bit depressing.
Maybe it's because it's three in the morning and I'm still working on my team's resource allocation plans. Maybe it's because I'm just so freaking tired from working at the office for exactly 14 days without any rest in between. Maybe it's because I'm not even sure that there's a someone special out there who is excited enough to want to spend this day with me...
But then again, I figured it's time to stop this vicious cycle. I'm through with being depressed on my birthday. I've decided to beat the birthday blues... or at least die trying to.
I love lists (this is so not obvious). I wanted to come up with a list of brilliant suggestions on how to beat the birthday blues, but I honestly can't think of any.
Suggestions, anyone?
Based from experience, I always get slightly depressed and a lot apprehensive as my birthday approaches. Being the control freak that I am, it really drives me crazy not knowing what I'll do yet on that day. Being the shy dudette that I am (seriously), I also don't want to impose and demand that my friends give up their day and spend it with me. That leaves me with no option except to plan out the day for myself. And that is why the situation is a bit depressing.
Maybe it's because it's three in the morning and I'm still working on my team's resource allocation plans. Maybe it's because I'm just so freaking tired from working at the office for exactly 14 days without any rest in between. Maybe it's because I'm not even sure that there's a someone special out there who is excited enough to want to spend this day with me...
But then again, I figured it's time to stop this vicious cycle. I'm through with being depressed on my birthday. I've decided to beat the birthday blues... or at least die trying to.
I love lists (this is so not obvious). I wanted to come up with a list of brilliant suggestions on how to beat the birthday blues, but I honestly can't think of any.
Suggestions, anyone?
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Getting Old
I am one of the few lucky people who is still working on the same job that I had first gotten into right after college. I find fulfillment in what I do. I cam afford to splurge a little once in a while. But more importantly, I appreciate the culture and principles of most of the people I interact with 5 out of 7 days in a week.
This year marks my 7th year working for P&G. This isn't a big number compared to colleagues in other regions who have worked in P&G all their lives and have kids almost the same age as me. Nevertheless, Asia is quite a young organization and I am starting to feel my age manifest itself in the work area.
1. You get questions about the older versions of your systems. When I started working, we were using SAP version 3.0. The 2 previous projects I managed actually moved the last 5 markets in Asia from version 3.0 to version 4.5. This is what we're currently using for the past six years. And now, we are moving again from version 4.5 to version 6. And I have personally witnessed this evolution.
2. It gets more and more difficult to recover from jet lag during and after a business trip. When I was a new hire, regardless of how many continents I've crossed, I would automatically drop my bags in the hotel room and go to the nearest outlet mall and shop till I drop. Now by the time I recover from jet lag, I'm about to return home, which means I need to recover from reverse jet lag again when I'm back.
3. Nobody knows my contacts anymore. I find myself referencing to certain pioneers who have stayed and helped built the organization in Manila and people just stare back at me blankly. They don't know them anymore! It's either that or they have left the company and become CIOs or CFOs in some other company.
4. The people you hire keep getting younger and younger. I get applicants who have just turned 20. The year they graduate from grade school is same as the year you graduated from college! It makes me feel quite jaded sometimes to hear their excited chatter about school projects and thesis during interviews. Sometimes I honestly fear that I can't relate anymore.
5. Your organization's name has changed at least 3x. In the main group that I work in for the past seven years, we have changed names 4x. Even the IT department has changed 3x. Our bigger work groups keep changing names as well. This is the reason why I don't bother memorizing what the names are. I just make sure I know where the latest org charts and I'll survive the next 10 changes.
6. You still remember what the old offices look (and smell) like. This is actually the only positive thing in my list. Knowing what the old offices look like, I have a better appreciation of the current work area I have. And I've also seen the old offices in Singapore and Guangzhou. Trust me, what we have now is way better than what was there five years ago.
Sigh. I am getting old.
This year marks my 7th year working for P&G. This isn't a big number compared to colleagues in other regions who have worked in P&G all their lives and have kids almost the same age as me. Nevertheless, Asia is quite a young organization and I am starting to feel my age manifest itself in the work area.
1. You get questions about the older versions of your systems. When I started working, we were using SAP version 3.0. The 2 previous projects I managed actually moved the last 5 markets in Asia from version 3.0 to version 4.5. This is what we're currently using for the past six years. And now, we are moving again from version 4.5 to version 6. And I have personally witnessed this evolution.
2. It gets more and more difficult to recover from jet lag during and after a business trip. When I was a new hire, regardless of how many continents I've crossed, I would automatically drop my bags in the hotel room and go to the nearest outlet mall and shop till I drop. Now by the time I recover from jet lag, I'm about to return home, which means I need to recover from reverse jet lag again when I'm back.
3. Nobody knows my contacts anymore. I find myself referencing to certain pioneers who have stayed and helped built the organization in Manila and people just stare back at me blankly. They don't know them anymore! It's either that or they have left the company and become CIOs or CFOs in some other company.
4. The people you hire keep getting younger and younger. I get applicants who have just turned 20. The year they graduate from grade school is same as the year you graduated from college! It makes me feel quite jaded sometimes to hear their excited chatter about school projects and thesis during interviews. Sometimes I honestly fear that I can't relate anymore.
5. Your organization's name has changed at least 3x. In the main group that I work in for the past seven years, we have changed names 4x. Even the IT department has changed 3x. Our bigger work groups keep changing names as well. This is the reason why I don't bother memorizing what the names are. I just make sure I know where the latest org charts and I'll survive the next 10 changes.
6. You still remember what the old offices look (and smell) like. This is actually the only positive thing in my list. Knowing what the old offices look like, I have a better appreciation of the current work area I have. And I've also seen the old offices in Singapore and Guangzhou. Trust me, what we have now is way better than what was there five years ago.
Sigh. I am getting old.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Applying Project Management
Thinking about my vacation plans always puts me in a good mood. Moreover, knowing that I have my boss and future boss's approval for a 3-week (read: 21 work-free days) gets me in an even better mood.
There's nothing I like better than planning for my vacation months in advance to the level of detail that I know exactly what I'll do (and what I'll wear) at every waking and sleeping hour of my total itinerary. I know it sounds a bit overwhelming considering it is still 9 months away, but I'd rather think and plan it thoroughly rather than catch up at the last minute. A bit too much? Maybe. But as long as it gives me pleasure and my vacations prove to be efficient, smooth and not over budget, then I'm good.
The way I approach planning for anything is using Successful Project Management (SPM) methodology - the very same IT course that I own and train in office. I truly believe in its concepts. I also believe that it is applicable in both work and personal stuffs.
What is my project name? US Trip 2008
Who is the project sponsor? Me
Who is the project manager? Me
What is the project background?
My son's 5-year US visa is expiring by mid-April 2008. Based from experience, it will be difficult to renew it if it has not been used at least once before it expires. This project aims to plan and complete the US trip in a timely and fun manner.
What is the scope of the project?
People - me, my son and my favorite sister
Geography - USA (required), other places (optional)
What are my constraints?
1. The trip cannot exceed 3 weeks.
2. US visa expiry date is mid-April 2008.
3. The trip should be done after classes end and after awarding ceremony.
What are my assumptions?
1. Last day of school is usually mid-March 2008.
2. Graduation and awarding ceremony is normally on last week of March. This also assumes that my son will get a medal and would therefore need to participate. :)
3. Relatives would welcome us and let us stay in their homes during the trip.
4. I would be able to secure 2 adult tickets using my mileage and that my son's grandmother would pay for his ticket.
What are my success criteria?
Cost - Should not exceed estimated budget
Time - Should not exceed 3 weeks
Quality - Should have fun!!!
I haven't come up with a risk assessment yet as well as a detailed work breakdown structure and schedule. But I'm sure I'll get to that.
I also need to get this "signed off" by my stakeholders. This refers to everyone who will be affected by this project. It definitely includes my family, my boss and some other key folks.
Wish me luck, folks.
Long live project management!
There's nothing I like better than planning for my vacation months in advance to the level of detail that I know exactly what I'll do (and what I'll wear) at every waking and sleeping hour of my total itinerary. I know it sounds a bit overwhelming considering it is still 9 months away, but I'd rather think and plan it thoroughly rather than catch up at the last minute. A bit too much? Maybe. But as long as it gives me pleasure and my vacations prove to be efficient, smooth and not over budget, then I'm good.
The way I approach planning for anything is using Successful Project Management (SPM) methodology - the very same IT course that I own and train in office. I truly believe in its concepts. I also believe that it is applicable in both work and personal stuffs.
What is my project name? US Trip 2008
Who is the project sponsor? Me
Who is the project manager? Me
What is the project background?
My son's 5-year US visa is expiring by mid-April 2008. Based from experience, it will be difficult to renew it if it has not been used at least once before it expires. This project aims to plan and complete the US trip in a timely and fun manner.
What is the scope of the project?
People - me, my son and my favorite sister
Geography - USA (required), other places (optional)
What are my constraints?
1. The trip cannot exceed 3 weeks.
2. US visa expiry date is mid-April 2008.
3. The trip should be done after classes end and after awarding ceremony.
What are my assumptions?
1. Last day of school is usually mid-March 2008.
2. Graduation and awarding ceremony is normally on last week of March. This also assumes that my son will get a medal and would therefore need to participate. :)
3. Relatives would welcome us and let us stay in their homes during the trip.
4. I would be able to secure 2 adult tickets using my mileage and that my son's grandmother would pay for his ticket.
What are my success criteria?
Cost - Should not exceed estimated budget
Time - Should not exceed 3 weeks
Quality - Should have fun!!!
I haven't come up with a risk assessment yet as well as a detailed work breakdown structure and schedule. But I'm sure I'll get to that.
I also need to get this "signed off" by my stakeholders. This refers to everyone who will be affected by this project. It definitely includes my family, my boss and some other key folks.
Wish me luck, folks.
Long live project management!
Monday, July 16, 2007
Beyond Blogging
To my surprise, I realize that there are still at least ten things in life I'd rather do than blog.
*gasps*
Yes, it's true. There is a bigger world out there than blogging. I'm trying to say that line with a straight face.
Don't get me wrong. I'm a fan of writing. In fact, I'm a huge fan of blogging. For those of you who visit my blog regularly, or those of you who know me personally, you know that I try to be faithful and write at least 2x every week. And that's the minimum. So a 2-week hiatus for me is something very, very rare indeed.
If my blog is my girlfriend (assuming I'm a guy of course, or a lesbian at the very least), I would've had to do serious ass-kissing, flower-buying and kneeling/begging for forgiveness if I wanted to retain my non-single status.
I know, I know. I've neglected my blog/girl/boyfriend. But believe me, I have valid reasons for doing so... Hmm. Now I sound exactly like a guy. Hehe.
Anyway, after having survived another stressful fiscal year end and 9 major projects cutting over at the same time, with 2 unexpected resignations within the past 60 days and spent 2 straight weekends working in the office fixing major showstopper issues, I realize that blogging will have to take second place over these things.
1. Sleep. Rest. Nap. Whatever the term is, nothing still beats getting some serious shut-eye.
2. Talk on the phone for hours with a good friend.
3. Eat La Pinay crepe at Cafe Briton in Greenbelt. I had been working for 12 straight hours 2 Sundays ago, but I readily agreed to join my mom, my aunt and my brother for some dessert even though I seriously needed some sleep.
4. Watch "Transformers."
5. Watch "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix."
6. Watch my son sleep. Last night was the first time in over a week that I was able to tuck my son to bed. All other nights, I had to rely on kissing him goodnight while he's somewhere in dreamland.
7. Figure out who would do what projects for the next 12 month. I'll be honest. I like blogging more than this. But I can't very well have a completed blog article and a half-baked resource allocation and work plan for my team. I am responsible most of the time, you know.
8. Psychoanalyze a mutual acquaintance and debate whether or not he is suffering from severe depression.
9. Conduct training on project management and system architecture for my colleagues. What can I say? Training has been and will always be one of my passions in life.
10. Play X-box with my son. I suck at games. Seriously. I'm so bad that even other 4 or 5-year-olds beat me. But I just can't no when my son sweetly offers to teach me how to play and reassures me that I don't play that bad for a girl.
And in case you haven't figured it out yet, the above list also contains most of the stuff I did in between whatever little free time I had over the past 15 days.
There you have it folks. There is life beyond blogging. But having said that, I'm still glad to be home again, blogging to all my heart's content... You won't get rid of this addicted blogger that easily. :)
*gasps*
Yes, it's true. There is a bigger world out there than blogging. I'm trying to say that line with a straight face.
Don't get me wrong. I'm a fan of writing. In fact, I'm a huge fan of blogging. For those of you who visit my blog regularly, or those of you who know me personally, you know that I try to be faithful and write at least 2x every week. And that's the minimum. So a 2-week hiatus for me is something very, very rare indeed.
If my blog is my girlfriend (assuming I'm a guy of course, or a lesbian at the very least), I would've had to do serious ass-kissing, flower-buying and kneeling/begging for forgiveness if I wanted to retain my non-single status.
I know, I know. I've neglected my blog/girl/boyfriend. But believe me, I have valid reasons for doing so... Hmm. Now I sound exactly like a guy. Hehe.
Anyway, after having survived another stressful fiscal year end and 9 major projects cutting over at the same time, with 2 unexpected resignations within the past 60 days and spent 2 straight weekends working in the office fixing major showstopper issues, I realize that blogging will have to take second place over these things.
1. Sleep. Rest. Nap. Whatever the term is, nothing still beats getting some serious shut-eye.
2. Talk on the phone for hours with a good friend.
3. Eat La Pinay crepe at Cafe Briton in Greenbelt. I had been working for 12 straight hours 2 Sundays ago, but I readily agreed to join my mom, my aunt and my brother for some dessert even though I seriously needed some sleep.
4. Watch "Transformers."
5. Watch "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix."
6. Watch my son sleep. Last night was the first time in over a week that I was able to tuck my son to bed. All other nights, I had to rely on kissing him goodnight while he's somewhere in dreamland.
7. Figure out who would do what projects for the next 12 month. I'll be honest. I like blogging more than this. But I can't very well have a completed blog article and a half-baked resource allocation and work plan for my team. I am responsible most of the time, you know.
8. Psychoanalyze a mutual acquaintance and debate whether or not he is suffering from severe depression.
9. Conduct training on project management and system architecture for my colleagues. What can I say? Training has been and will always be one of my passions in life.
10. Play X-box with my son. I suck at games. Seriously. I'm so bad that even other 4 or 5-year-olds beat me. But I just can't no when my son sweetly offers to teach me how to play and reassures me that I don't play that bad for a girl.
And in case you haven't figured it out yet, the above list also contains most of the stuff I did in between whatever little free time I had over the past 15 days.
There you have it folks. There is life beyond blogging. But having said that, I'm still glad to be home again, blogging to all my heart's content... You won't get rid of this addicted blogger that easily. :)
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Song of the Month - July 2007
Lead Me Lord
by Gary Valenciano
lead me lord
lead me by the hand
and help me face the rising sun
comfort me through all the pain and life may bring
there's no other hope that i can lean upon
lead me lord
lead me all my life
walk by me
walk by me across the lonely roads that i may face
take my arms and let your hand show me the way
show the way to live inside your heart
all my days
all my life
you are my light
you're the lamp upon my feet
all the time my lord i need you there
you are my light
i cannot live alone
let me stay by your guiding love
all through my life
lead me lord
lead me lord
even though at times i'd rather go along my way
give me take the right direction take your road
lead me lord and never leave my side
all my days
all my life
by Gary Valenciano
lead me lord
lead me by the hand
and help me face the rising sun
comfort me through all the pain and life may bring
there's no other hope that i can lean upon
lead me lord
lead me all my life
walk by me
walk by me across the lonely roads that i may face
take my arms and let your hand show me the way
show the way to live inside your heart
all my days
all my life
you are my light
you're the lamp upon my feet
all the time my lord i need you there
you are my light
i cannot live alone
let me stay by your guiding love
all through my life
lead me lord
lead me lord
even though at times i'd rather go along my way
give me take the right direction take your road
lead me lord and never leave my side
all my days
all my life
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