Silence Means...

Silence in the communication within the corporate world is easy to decipher. It means you concur and have stamped your 'ok' in the recommendation after you reviewed it thoroughly.

But what about other situations outside of work?

I fear that it is not that easy to interpret. And making wrong assumptions could end up costing a great friendship or something more.

after a great date. You just had the most perfect date the night before. Both the weather and your hair cooperated. which is a miracle in itself. Everything was just perfect. In fact, you're 100% sure that your date feels the same way. Morning comes, no call. Fine, that must mean he's a late sleeper. Lunch, still nada. By the time you're about to eat dinner, your stomach is churning and you feel embarrassed that you must've read too much last night. What the heck does silence mean in this case?

during intimate moments. People have difficulty in confessing or sharing something personal because they cannot predict accurately what the reaction would be. And sometimes, because of the uncertainty of acceptance, you would just kept those thoughts to yourself rather than risking the possibility of rejection and judgement.

I love you.
*silence then just runs away.

I'm pregnant.
*silence then faints

I had an abortion five years ago.
*silence then looks at her like she's the devil incarnate

In these cases, just the mere thought of these reactions would make you just keep your mouth shut rather than risk the humiliation afterwards.

after a fight/disagreement/discussion (whatever you want to call it). I received a great advise from a priest before I got married. Do not go to bed when you're still angry with each other. I believe that this is applicable even in friendship. One might even wonder whether or not the partner cares anymore, if he or she doesn't even bother talking to her after a fight. Sometimes prolonging the forgiveness and making up in the name of giving each other space and time to cool off might actually lead to eternal separation, thereby doing more harm than good.

during conversations. Silence during conversation can both be positive and negative. It really depends on the mood. There is what we call comfortable silence, which is when both parties just enjoy the peaks and lulls of the tête-à-tête. They do not panic whenever there's dead air. However, sometimes silence is just too defeaning and you end up concluding that you don't have the same wavelength. From what I hear, most blind dates has more of the latter.

Silence in the right scenario could prove to be a powerful tool. Your mom doesn't have to say anything but you know that you're in trouble with just a look. Your boss just raises his eyebrows and you know that he is displeased with something.

But let's face it. However useful it is, silence is still prone to wrong interpretation which might lead to inaccurate conclusions. Doesn't it make more sense to just verbalize your feelings straight out? Am I the only one who believes in being that being brutally frank (within the right context, of course) is still the best way to build trust and openness in a relationship? Should people still play that cat-and-mouse game regardless of how old they are?

I don't doubt whoever coined the famous phrase "silence speaks a thousand words". It really does. Now only if he could specify as well what those "thousand words" actually refer to. I believe our lives would be much, much simpler and happier.