Crash and Burn

I pride myself on being able to take on more work than a typical woker and still deliver excellent results. Over the years, I have learned to have the insight on when I have extra capacity to volunteer for additional stuffs and stretch myself and earn my keep, so to speark. But I also strive to make time for my family, my friends and myself. So working on a more-than-8-hour schedule but still having time to shop, talk and play is nothing new for me.

However, I think I have definitely reached the height of my "stretching" recently. If I take a few minutes and looked at things from an outsider's point of view, I could see signs that I was about to crash and burn. However, I was working on adrenaline mode for the past 7 weeks since it was necessary, and didn't have time to sufficiently recharge... hence I got the worst case of burnt out in my personal history ever.

I can list down each and every thing that happened for the past 3 months that has caused me to work like a slavedriver, but I don't want to sound whiny and immature. However, I would list some signs that I saw in myself that if I had only listened to them would've prevented me from actually having a nervous near-breakdown. Trust me, even though I know I'm definitely not ugly, it was NOT a pretty sight.

1. I had at least one nose bleed per day for the past 2 weeks. My blood pressure shot up, I had headaches even in the morning and I was feverish for the most part of the day.

2. In my case, I didn't even have the time nor energy to blog. If you notice, the number of blog posts I have for July and August is just downright depressing. I literally can't even make myself type something, since I was just too darned sleepy or tired. I also wasn't able to

3. You receive complaints from your family and friends. My son complains that I don't get to tuck him to bed anymore and that he has to text or call me to hear my voice. My friends complain that I keep missing our barkada gatherings. My parents complain that I don't talk to them anymore.

4. Sleeping in odd places at odd times - I actually found myself asleep in the middle of lunch in a restaurant while lunching out with some friends. I also dozed off while riding the shuttle from one office to another. This is definitely a sign that you need rest.

5. I am always distracted, easy to get angry and snap at other people. No matter how nice of a person you are (like me), when you're at a point of being exhausted than you've ever been in your life, you have this tendency to just snap, when you could've easily overlooked it in normal circumstances. Also, you keep forgetting where you've placed your things. You get confused with the same information.

6. I seem to be on a crying spell at any hint of additional trouble. This is actually the scariest symptom of all. My eyes would fill with tears the second that I think of all the issues I have and the task list that seems to just add no matter how much I cross each one out faithfully.

I still believe that I made the right decisions in putting the extra effort despite knowing that I was putting myself into a precarious position. But let's face it, we're all humans. We can't expect to work 24 x 7 and not experience any consequences because of it. There has to be a time to work and a time to play. Next time you see me in a similar situation, feel free to give me a good whack on my head to wake me up! :)